I am pleased to announce that beginning in September 2012, my subject area will be offering a Masters degree in Big Society Studies. In an attempt to 'roll up our sleeves' and demonstrate that 'we're all in this together', staff have been told they must provide teaching after hours and on weekends for this programme.
Course Outline
Big Society Studies is a distinctive and timely interdisciplinary degree programme that examines the entrenched dynamics of privilege and inequality in the context of British politics and prosaic political theory. The programme focuses on buzz words, spin, and empty rhetoric in relation to conservatism. You will learn not only how to think superficially about pressing social issues like poverty, crime, and migration, but also how noblesse oblige provides band-aid solutions to all of them while giving the market an opportunity to profit from human deprivation and misery. The programme is demanding--though you can always pay someone else to do the work-- but rewarding. It will give you the opportunity to develop your prejudices and the requisite sense of entitlement to prepare yourself for the rigors of collecting from a trust fund and engaging in tax avoidance.
Course Content
Note that there are no alternatives.
A History of Scrounging
Drawing upon historical examples, this module shows how the scrounger has remained a persistent problem in environments where there are no means of forcing people to work. For the final assignment, you get to design your own modern workhouse and send it out for tender!
Non-evidence-based Public Policy
In this module, learn how to design macro-level policy initiatives using nothing more than cocktail napkins, a biro, and your own delusions of grandeur.
Those Were the Days!: Remembering How We Civilized the Savages
In this module we discuss English imperial history minus the piracy, racism, violence, genocide, and slavery. Please note that this module only meets once for about a half hour.
The Market is Always Right: An Introduction to Privatization
In this module you will be shown all of the evidence that clearly illustrates why the privatization of public goods and services is the worst option in any given situation. You will then learn how to ignore this evidence and press on anyway.
Efficiency Savings 101
In this module, you will develop the pathologies necessary to take real pleasure in reducing spending on vital social services. In addition, you will be provided with the skills to ensure that you maximize the impact on the poor, the elderly, children, and the disabled while finding room to provide corporations with tax cuts.
Harnessing the Power and Capability of Civil Society
In this module you will learn how to distinguish between legitimate civil society actors--like the Taxpayer's Alliance--- and bad civil society actors--like trade unions, student groups, and environmentalists. You will also become familiar with productive civil society activity--like travelling on a gap year to Thailand and spending a couple of days digging a well in some impoverished village followed by 51 weeks of partying across South East Asia--and dangerous civil society activity--like protesting against government spending cuts. Guest lectures will be provided by Saif Gaddafi and Lord Wei of Shoreditch.
Final Big Society Project
This module draws upon knowledge and skills developed over the course of the programme. You will be tasked with amplifying an existing social problem. You will then need to convince others that the deterioration in conditions was their fault, that they should pay to repair (your) damages, and that they should volunteer their time to fix them no matter how dangerously unqualified they may be to do so. You must then actively continue to undermine their efforts.
Is it for you?
The misplaced belief of this programme's students in their inherent superiority will only be outpaced by their absolute lack of empathy for others. If you are callous, arrogant, and occupy a privileged station due to wealth rather than ability, our programme will help you to achieve your goal of making life miserable for those less fortunate.
Entry Requirements
Blue blood, an inflated sense of self, and an odd thing for Margaret Thatcher.
Photo credit: I See Modern Britain
(Oh yeah, April Fools!)
